I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore
by Digidynasty
Summary: Another Song Fic using Wish-chan's "New Trials" series. Syaoran has been fighting his feelings for Sakura since the beginning of this adventure and now he's finally giving in to his love for the Cardcaptor Mistress. It's about time!


Can't Fight These Feelings Anymore

Song By: REO Speedwagon

Scenes From: "New Trials Series" by Wish-Chan

"Dammit! This ice doesn't break. There's a magical barrier. The crack in the ice was on purpose." Syaoran pounded on the ice.

"Stand back. Let me try." Kerberus let out a blast of flame. There was no effect.

Tomoyo frowned. "Then, she can't get out! She'll drown if she isn't frostbitten, beneath! What can we do!"

Syaoran's face contorted and he screamed in a cracked voice as he bent over the ice, "Sakura! Do you hear me? If you do, do something. I know you can. Break the barrier. If you don't… If you give up, I'll take your goddamn body and kill you over again. Sakuraaaaaaaaa!" He gave a desperate punch on the ice.

_Someone's calling me. He is. Say my name again, Syaoran. He's going to be mad if I don't escape. I'm not dead yet. But I can't move my arms, or my legs. I can't see anything. It's so dark. It's so cold. I have to escape. I can't just die! For Syaoran, I must break free. Strange. I didn't drown, thought I've been down here for a while. Here. I'll get out of here. I'll break the barrier._

Sakura managed to draw out the fire and pleaded in her mind, _Please, Fiery! Melt the ice barrier above me. Help me escape._

The Fiery nodded and spread her warmth over the ice. First, her power reflected back. Slowly, it spread. _Too late. I can't breathe anymore_. Sakura fell unconscious.

"Look, the frozen barrier is starting to weaken," Kero exclaimed.

"Sakura! Is she all right, then?" Asked Tomoyo.

Syaoran saw the weakening ice, and with his fist, brought down full force over the ice. It held, then with a CRACK, it split over in every direction. He ignored the throbbing pain that etched itself up his muscles. With his ward paper, Sakura floated back to the top, collapsing in Syaoran's arm. Her eyes were closed and her whole body temperature had dropped low, with her skin a deadly pale color. She was dripping with icy water.

He screamed, shaking her limp body, "Sakura! Wake up! Get up now, of I'll bash your head! Don't die now! You can't after all that trouble to escape. Wake up!"

Kero said, "You're going to kill her, even if she's alive, if you shake her like that. Why don't you feel her pulse?"

"Pulse?" Syaoran placed two fingers on her slender wrist. At first, he felt nothing. Then, he felt slight, weak throbs. He sighed in relief. Then he dropped her hand and muttered, "So that's that," in disgust, for he was ashamed for his display of over reaction.

_I can't fight this feeling any longer_

And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow 

_What started out as friendship has grown stronger_

_I only wish I had the strength to let it show_

Someone came silently behind her, then covered her eyes with large, warm hands. "Guess who?"

Trying to peel away the hands, Sakura said, "Hey, what are you doing?"

"C'mon. Bet you don't know who this is," the person insisted, refusing to take his hands away from her eyes.

"Bet you I do, Li Syaoran," Sakura said, laughing.

"Charming! You knew who it was. Now, look around you, Sakura," Syaoran whispered into her ears, as he took his hands away from her eyes.

As Sakura's eyes focused, she saw that the illuminant golden lights came from hundreds of candlesticks floating on the shallow pond in the forest.

Sakura blinked. It was like a fairytale setting. And around her were trees, rustling with beautiful pink blossoms. Cherry blossoms? She hadn't seen any yet, this year. It seemed as she transferred from the bustling town of Tomoeda to a total twinkling fantasy setting in the middle of a fairy ball.

"How come you're not saying anything? It doesn't suit you?" Syaoran asked.

"No, it's not that. It's just it was so unexpected, I--"

"So, you don't like it?" Syaoran questioned, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

"You're wrong. I love it." Sakura's emerald eyes brimmed with tears of joy.

"Really?" Syaoran looked up, eagerly.

"Really. It's so beautiful, like a dreamland. But one thing I don't get... The sakura trees..." Sakura trailed off as she saw the rose pink petals on the branches, blowing in the wind.

"Oh. Well, as you know, the sakura trees didn't blossom here yet. And I know that every year for your birthday, there's sakura blossoms. But, I didn't have the Flowery Card, and I really wanted you to have cherry blossoms."

"So, what did you use?" Sakura asked curiously, gazing at the dozens of trees all around them.

"Look closely," Syaoran said, pointing to the tree nearest to them.

Her mouth dropped as she peered closely. "They're pink ribbons!" Each tree had their branches tied with many pale rose pink ribbons, creating the effect of blossoms waving in the evening breeze.

"Did you do this all for me?" She could imagine Syaoran carefully tying each ribbon onto the branches of all the trees around the pond, lighting and setting afloat each candle onto the pond, sighing with exasperating when the candle tipped over and the light was put out.

Sakura said in a choked voice, "You went through all this trouble, just for my birthday? You didn't have to."

"I didn't have to, but I wanted to," Syaoran said, looking directly into her eyes. "I wanted to do at least this much for you."

Sakura stared into his amber eyes, reflecting the dazzling candlelight. Syaoran... _All this for me.._. He turned away announcing, "Cakes! No birthday is complete without a cake."

Sakura saw that a little table had been set up next to the pond lit with hundreds of candles. When she saw the cake, she burst out laughing. It was a strawberries and cream cake in the shape of Kero-chan's head. "Did you make it?"

"Well yeah. I wanted you to laugh, so..." Syaoran blushed.

"It's adorable! I bet it tastes good, too, since you made it."

"Blow the candles and make a wish," Syaoran urged.

"Okay." Taking a large breath, Sakura blew out all the candles in one go.

After making her wish, Syaoran and Sakura resumed in eating the cake, though they reflected it was a shame to mess up the duplicate of Kero's face. Finally, they were too full to eat and a good portion of the cake still remained.

Grinning wickedly, Syaoran said, "Look down at the cake. I have something to show you."

Unknowingly, Sakura bent down.

"Ha!" Syaoran shoved Sakura down, shoving her face right into the cake.

"WHAT!!!" Sakura shrieked, her face covered with whipped cream. "How care you!" Taking a handful of cake, she lobbed it at Syaoran's face. "I'm wearing a new outfit today, too!"

"I noticed," Syaoran said, carefully wiping away the cream that Sakura had thrown at him. The pale rose color of the soft jacket and short skirt set out her slim body and bright emerald eyes, not to mention the hat which was now lopsided, half falling off her head. After a while, he commented, "It looks cute."

"Hoe?" Sakura stopped midair from throwing the cake. Had he just complimented her? She blushed. "Err... Thank you so much for such a great birthday."

"No problem. It was worth it to see your face covered with cream." Syaoran grinned.

"That's not nice. But, well, I can't express in words how I loved all this."

"Don't try to, then," Syaoran answered, more seriously. "There are some things better unsaid."

It was too dark to see him carefully. Sakura smiled. Yet, the night had been perfect.

_I tell myself that I can't hold out forever_

_I said there's no reason for my fear_

_Cause I feel so secure when we're together_

You give my life direction; you make everything so clear 

That night, Syaoran found a dark green box on top of his bed. Carefully, he opened it. For a moment, he was startled, then a slow smile spread, his amber eyes twinkling.

It was an embroidery of a silvery amber wolf, carefully done to the last detail, with pale flower petals blowing around it, against a background of trees and the twinkling night sky and glowing moon. The fine needlework seemed to come alive in his hands, the vivid and soft colors dancing. He could almost smell the sweet scent of sakura blossoms, or the tangy night sky. The soft linen cloth was framed on a circular mahogany wood frame. For some strange reason, he felt free, all the while safe in his room. On the back was carved crookedly,_ "For a friend."_

Gently, he hung it on the wall, above the head of the bed. It served as a beautiful decoration, quite unlike Sakura's usual needle skills. He appreciated beauty to the eye, as well as the freshness of nature. But did she also know that she had woven enough power into the thread, in neat stitches through the cloth, to ward off any evil that might come to him in his sleep? He could almost picture Sakura sewing away patiently for months, not knowing why she was working so hard, but pouring all her effort in; wincing when she pricked her fingers, struggling to stay awake to finish it...

_And even as I wander_

_I'm keeping you in sight_

_You're a candle in the window_

On a cold dark winter's night 

And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might 

"Look, there's a shooting star!" Sakura pointed.

"Actually, it's a falling meteoroid," Syaoran corrected. Yet, his eyes turned round at the blazing streak of light.

"Oh, but it's much more fun to think it's a shooting star. I've never seen one before. I better make a wish! Let's see…I wish…" Closing her eyes, Sakura continued, "I wish that we will always stay loyal, true, and trustful friends forever. That's a simple wish, isn't it? What do you wish?"

"If I tell you, it won't be a secret wish anymore, will it," Syaoran replied mysteriously.

"That's mean! I told you mine!"

"I never said you had to tell me yours," Syaoran pointed out.

This let a noise of childish rage erupt from Sakura. "I hate you!" To her surprise, Syaoran began laughing hard. He laughed until his sides ached, and he rolled over onto the grassy hill. Finally, he gasped, "Sakura, I don't know what life would have been like without you."

Smiling brightly, Sakura thought, _Syaoran, I never saw heard you laugh so carefree and freely like this before. Hearing him so happy makes me happy, too_. "I never heard you laugh before."

"I don't think I ever did," Syaoran replied. "Something about being around you changes who I am. I wonder what magic you pull on me."

"No, I don't change who you are," Sakura said, crouching on the grass beside Syaoran, placing a hand on his thick chestnut brown hair. "This is the real you, the real Li Syaoran, unburdened by family, honor, pain, or responsibility. It is truly who you are inside."

"You think so?" Syaoran grinned, staring at Sakura's beautiful form, outlined by the moonlight. "Yes, you might be right. Being around you brings out my true self. You know, you're wrong about this being my worst birthday."

Today, he had thought back to his past to the ones he loved, heard from his true friends, seen Vega, his father's favorite star. But most of all, he was with Sakura, which was all he would ask for. To him, Sakura was the one who guided him all along, helped him become stronger. Enveloping Sakura into a tight hug, he said, "You made it wonderful for me. I will always remember, value and cherish this birthday."

"Really?" Sakura asked, happily. "Then maybe I did work things out, after all. I'm so glad."

Vega of the Lyre watched over the two, glistening brilliantly over them. Syaoran's fifth birthday had been happiest, his tenth most prideful. Yet, this one was his most precious birthday. _Why_?

Because he was with his most precious Sakura.

_And I can't fight this feeling anymore_

_I'd forgotten what I started fighting for_

It's time to bring this ship into the shore 

_And throw away the oars forever_

"Exasperating, but I still can't help admiring your nobleness and loyalty to your friends," Syaoran commented.

Gazing around, she searched for where he was. "Where are you?"

"Look up," he replied.

When she looked up, Sakura could see that Syaoran was way up in the tree branches. He was illuminated by a pale aura.

"What are you doing up there, when it's all wet?" Sakura asked in disbelief.

"This." From his position way up in the tree, he dropped something down to her.

Reaching out her hands, she caught it. She examined the intricate star design on a Sakura Card. Carefully, she turned it over and stared hard. "What is this?"

"Can't you be more appreciative? Don't expect me to use any power for several days; I used it completely up for now, trying to convert that card."

"Huh?" The image on the Wolf Card had changed from one of a ferocious werewolf into a wolf puppy very similar to Wolfie-chan. ¡"What did you do?"

"I converted it from being a card that uses the dark forces into a light force card," Syaoran replied. "It's no longer a "bad" card as you call it. Wolfie-chan is saved, in a sense. And I'm sure, you'll have more use for that card now."

Sakura stared up at him. Though the tree branches cast a shadow over his face, Sakura could tell how tired and strained he was through his posture. She could also sense his aura was weaker than usual. Yet, he was smiling.

'You went through all this trouble, just because of what I said?' she demanded. "I didn't mean for you to take it so literally. You can't change who you are."

"Well, as long as you won't reproach me anymore, I'm satisfied," Syaoran replied.

Her forest green eyes softened. "Thank you Syaoran! Can't you come down?"

With an elaborate flip, Syaoran landed right in front of Sakura.

_Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore_

_I'd forgotten what I started fighting for_

_And if I have to crawl upon the floor_

_Come crashing through your door_

Baby I can't fight this feeling anymore 

Slowly, Sakura traced her way down his arm and spread out his left palm. Even under the dim light, she could see two parallel cuts, running deep, the first one across the tip of his fingers and the second one through his lower palm. It was from when he stopped the sword with his bare hand. The blood had dried into a deep, painful-looking scar.

Holding his hand to her face, Sakura whispered, "I'm sorry, Syaoran, I'm so sorry."

"No big deal, I said," Syaoran replied. "Better me than you. I'm made of tough stuff, I tell you. Wouldn't have survived the Great Elder's wilderness training otherwise."

She wasn't listening. Drawing out a card, she called out, "Heal!" A warm white light consumed them. She pressed a warm hand on the center of his chest.

"Sakura! Stop it!" Syaoran said, breaking her concentrate. How in the world was she calling out all these cards without her staff? "I told you not to use the Heal card for trivial matters."

"You call this trivial?" Sakura demanded. "You're bone is splintered and you've lost more blood than is healthy—yet you call this trivial? It's not trivial, at least not to me. It hurts me, because I caused them. I injured you."

"You didn't—it's Eriol's fault, okay? And it's my fault for challenging him, so it's all my fault." Syaoran snatched away the Heal card from Sakura. Even in the brief moment, his collarbone had healed, the marvels of the card, created by Sakura after the Whip incident. "You're already worn out from releasing cards without the staff and fighting the Obedience. Really, you're going to collapse if you continue this; then we won't have anyone to seal the Obedience. What ever you do, you must promise not to strain your body, okay? It's dangerous."

Eyes glistening, Sakura said, standing up, "You don't understand my feelings at all!" Was it so wrong to want to heal the wounds she cast upon him? Syaoran was always getting injured because of her, but why wouldn't he allow her to heal him?

"Then do you understand my feelings?" Syaoran demanded, standing up also. "What it is like to watch you suffer, but having to just watch and not interrupt. We both know this is the unspoken contract between our partnership. We are comrades, partners, each other's right arm, against the Dark Ones. But we each have our own battles to fight, and then, it is the other's part not to interrupt but to just watch. Like in the duel against Eriol, that's between him and me, or when you were fighting against the Obedience—that was your own mental battle. It'll continue to be this way, that is how the Great Ones functioned without getting in each other's way.¡±

"Fine then," Sakura said, walking back towards the river, hiding her face behind her bangs. "So be it. Go home, Syaoran. This is my job. Let me find the Key and finish sealing the Obedience. Go home and rest." She trudged through the river, sending out faint traces of her remaining aura to find her key. The radius of her aura was too short to be effective.

To her surprise, she heard a paddling of water as Syaoran reentered the river. "Didn't you understand me? We have our individual battles at times. But we're partners. We help each other out in hardship and lend each other a shoulder at times like this. The actual battle is over. All I could do today was watch. You told me to stay out of your fight, and I did. The least I can do today, is help you look for the Key. As a comrade, will you let me look for the Key with you?" When Sakura looked like she was about to refuse, he added, "Please."

Lips trembling, Sakura nodded. She pretended to busily search for the key again, not trusting her voice to keep from shaking. _I can't even thank him or apologize to him anymore._ She knew he was injured, weary to the bone and cold—he got cold easily, yet she couldn't bring herself to ask him to leave again. _I really do don't want him to leave. Is it too selfish, that I want him by my side?_

_My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you_

I've been running around in circles in my mind 

_And it always seems that I'm following you_

_Cause you take my to the places I know I'd never find_

The streetlamps and the Christmas lights decorating the stores lighted the streets as the sun set. _Something special for my one and only special Sakura._

_TICK TOCK TICK TOCK!___

__

_What is this steady sound? It's somewhat soothing, somewhat rhythmic. _Following the ticking sound of clocks, Syaoran entered a clock store, embedded at the end of the street, almost unnoticeable amidst all the flashiness of the other stores. As he looked around, his eyes widened—never had he seen more clocks stored in one place. Grandfather clocks with pendulums, cuckoo clocks with cuckoos that popped out on the chime, cat-shaped clocks, owl-shaped clocks, large standing clocks, small hanging clocks, all sorts of clocks imaginable. In a corner, he saw various watches on display in a glass case. One small watch caught his eyes—the straps were made of thin elongated stainless steel wires twisted in an elegant vine like fashion, and the face of the watch was tinted pale pink shaped like a five-leaved flower, the clock handles like thin, frail flower stamens with crystals at the points. It was very pretty, something Sakura would like.

"I'll like to take that," Syaoran said to the old saleslady.

"Good choice," the old woman said, holding out her left wrist to show him her watch. "Very beautiful, elegantly fashioned by hand. See, my son got it for me, because I liked the design so much—reminded me of the watches in the olden days, not the mass-produced, ugly, plastic things they produce these days. Whoever you're getting it for will be very happy."

Smiling, Syaoran said, "I hope so too. Can you gift-wrap it please?"

_And even as I wander_

_I'm keeping you in sight_

_You're a candle in the window_

_On a cold dark winter's night_

And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might 

They stood silently for a while, listening to the slow rhythm of the music faintly drifting up from downstairs.

"Do you want to go back now?" Syaoran asked, though personally he was not too crazy about over-crowded places.

"Let's stay here a little longer. It's nicer up here," Sakura said. It would have been too embarrassing to dance with Syaoran in front of everyone. Doing it during rehearsals was a different matter. "Quieter. Less people."

"Yeah. And by the way, I would certainly not want Erika as my date."

"Hoe?" _Oh yeah! Stupid, unreliable telepathic communication. It never works when I want to use it, but he always seems to know what my thoughts are. _Sakura pouted; she knew she was being petty, but she couldn't help it. "But you went with her last year."

Sighing in exasperation, Syaoran said, "She asked me, and I had no choice. Besides well, it's a long story. But really, believe me, you're the only person that I ever wanted to ask to anywhere." As if embarrassed by his sudden burst of earnestness, he smoothed his hair and stammered, "Ah, well, I'm not really into social gatherings anyway, but…"

Ears turning red, Sakura pretended to be preoccupied with something else. Thinking about it, this was the first time Syaoran had asked her to a formal dance. Placing her hand on the glass doors leading to a balcony, Sakura looked up at the misty sky and gasped, "Look, it's snowing!" She swung the glass panes open and stepped out. The frosty bite of the winter night sent a shiver down her spine, and her scarlet dress billowed. The dance music from the floor beneath could be heard even more distinctly.

"Silly, it's freezing outside—you don't even have a coat on," Syaoran said, stepping up behind her and rubbing her arms.

_Doesn't he know that his touch makes me tingle more than the cold?_ Sakura looked over her shoulder to see Syaoran, head turned up to the sky intently.

"Where do you see snow?" Syaoran asked, squinting. "The sky is clear for all I can see."

"I swear I saw a snowflake fall from the sky!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Ha ha! Maybe it was a speck in your eye," Syaoran chuckled.

"Fine, don't believe me. But I saw it!" Sakura huffed waving her arms around wildly, pointing to the sky.

"I believe you," Syaoran murmured, grabbing hold of her wrists then spinning her around to his chest.

"Huh?¡± Sakura held her breath, gazing up at Syaoran's face, flushed from the cold, his amber eyes glimmering like the thousands of Christmas lights decorating the house.

He took a step back and held out a hand. "May I have the honor of a dance?"

_Heart, stop pounding like an idiot,_ Sakura prayed, as she nodded_. He'll hear and laugh at me. But then, this is the first time Syaoran has ever asked me to dance outside of school play context; those don't count._

Blushing, Sakura placed one tentative hand on Syaoran's shoulder, the other entwined in his. His hand on her waist burned like coals and a thrilling warmth spread through her body as they swayed slowly to the music which filtered through the silent night in the Eve of Christmas, the chill of the winter air betrayed only by the misty puffs of their breaths and the sparse sugary flakes lazily drifting down onto the marble balcony.

The song seemed to last forever, the pleasant forever, the kind where one wishes it really would never end, for they were oblivious to all else except each other.

_And I can't fight this feeling anymore_

I'd forgotten what I started fighting for 

_It's time to bring this ship into the shore_

_And throw away the oars forever_

"Christmas present?"

"This is for you," Syaoran said, taking out a long rectangular case from his pocket.

"Wait, I have your present for you too. _You _better not be late tomorrow," Sakura replied, taking out a slightly larger rectangular case.

They stared at the two almost identical cases with skepticism.

"Can I open it?" Sakura asked, fingering the lid.

"Go on ahead," Syaoran said, weighing his present on his hands.

"Let's open it at the same time," Sakura proposed.

"Sure."

"One, two, three!"

They flung the lids open, stared at the matching watches, then eyed each other. Simultaneously, they clasped it on their left wrists and held up their hands against each other's. Their lips twitched then they burst out laughing.

"How did you know I wanted this watch?" Sakura demanded, stroking the elegant flower petal-shaped watch face with its dainty wristband. "But they were all sold out."

"I knew you would like it," Syaoran said, grinning crookedly. He had not noticed the male version of the watch, leaf-faced pattern, at the store. Matching watches with Sakura. "Talk about coincidence."

"Seriously. Thank you Syaoran—I don't know how you can read my mind sometimes, but you do. Really, such nice gifts are not necessary at all. But I love it so much, anyway."

"I'm really glad," Syaoran said. "Thank you also. I really will treasure this watch and honor punctuality. Though I've never stood anyone up for a day."

"That's just once, compared to the million times you kept me waiting," Sakura retorted. "You're just holding a grudge."

"I am," Syaoran replied frankly.

_Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore_

_I'd forgotten what I started fighting for_

_And if I have to crawl upon the floor_

_Come crashing through your door_

_Baby I can't fight this feeling anymore_


End file.
